In My Daughter's Eyes

Josh said, "I'm going to give you a baby girl" in October of 2008.  (click here to read about that) It was on my mind a lot one day in January of 2009 and that night I felt impressed to pray about what had happened.

Journal Entry: Jan. 18^th, 2009

A few days ago, I finally prayed about the ‘message’ I got from Josh, expecting to have that uncomfortable feeling from the spirit, letting me discern that it was just my imagination, but I just felt peace.  I asked Heavenly Father to let me know.  The very next day, I went out to get the mail and there were the February church magazines.  I thumbed through the Ensign.  There was an eight page focus on adoption.  Personal stories by a birth mother, a birth father, a ‘birth’ grandparent, and from someone that had been adopted as a baby.  As I read every word, I felt that wave of emotion again that I couldn’t explain away.  The Friend magazine also had a story about a couple that adopted a baby girl.  Was it just coincidence?

Friday morning we met with Dan, from Utah Foster Care Foundation.  We have forms to fill out and are signed up for classes that will be held Tues and Thurs evenings throughout March.  After he left, I found myself so excited.  I know that we’re in for challenges, heartaches, and sacrifices, but this is Heavenly Father’s plan for us and he knows and loves us and I have to conclude that there will be great joy as well.

The bishop told me this morning in church that he was extending a call to a sister in a week to replace me as Relief Society president.  I am okay with that.  I already feel like the Lord has extended a new call to me.  (click here to read about it) Prepare Every Needful Thing. You are going to be foster parents and someday, add to your eternal family through adoption.  Josh will be an active participant.  That fills my heart with tender emotion.

I asked in my personal prayer last night if I should believe what I perceived that Josh told me.  You see, last night at a ‘new neighbor’ get-together at the Tobin’s, I got to hold our new neighbor’s baby, Lillie.  As much as I adored her and enjoyed her smiles, I was caught up in the almost unbelievable thought of being a mom at my age to such a little creature.  During my prayer, I was told not to worry about believing, but to start hoping. 

This morning on the front page of the newspaper was an article encouraging families here in Weber County to consider fostering children.  Enos made a comment that after all this publicity; people are going to think we’re just following the crowd when they see us with foster children. 'We’re not following the crowd', I thought, 'we’re following the Lord.'

I haven’t mentioned a word about the baby stuff to anybody, not even Enos.  I’ve considered it; of sharing especially with Enos but when I thought about it, I heard, “Treasure these things up in your heart.”  I decided to wait.

Journal Entry: Jan. 29, 2009

It’s not a calendar-catch-up-session, I just wanted to record what happened this morning.  When I woke up (to Enos’ alarm) I laid there quietly thinking about the possibility of adopting a baby girl.  Enos turned on the radio as he got out of bed (which he never does) and the next song that came on was “In My Daughter’s Eyes”.  I was doing all I could to hold in the emotion as I heard words like, miracle and ‘sent to rescue me’.  Someday I’ll share this with Enos but he left the room before the song was finished and I shut the radio off and knelt to pray.  The one thing new that I received during that prayer was, “There are many people working on this for you.”  I told Heavenly Father that I was humbled by that and I asked Him to thank them for me.

Four years later this song was an answer to another prayer, and it was given to me in a most remarkable way. But, I'm trying to stay on a chronological path, so that will be a story for another day. 

(I couldn't get it to upload except as an mp4 file, so you lose resolution if you go full-screen ~ sorry).